Technology presents challenges for today’s kids that parents never had to deal with while they were growing up. Charting this unfamiliar territory can be bewildering for parents, especially on the heels of the Momo Challenge and other violent content that’s being disturbingly targeted for kids. It’s not always clear how to create boundaries when it comes to YouTube and other forms of screen time.
Creating a tech contract for the entire family is a very effective way to establish a clear understanding of household boundaries and expectations by eliminating surprises and helping family members hold each other accountable. Clear guidelines can also alleviate anxiety for kids who may find themselves pulled into watching things they didn’t initially want to watch or find themselves sliding down a rabbit hole of unhealthy habits.
“iRules will allow you and your family to build healthy relationships with the technology used inside and outside your home,” says Janell Burley Hoffman, author of iRules: What Every Family Needs to Know About Selfies, Sexting, Gaming and Growing Up.
The author advises that you think about your child before creating a tech contract or iRules, as she dubbed it. Think about your child’s age, interests, tendencies, personality traits and struggles. It may even be a good idea to spend some tech time with your kids. See what they enjoy watching, what they dislike or even what scares them. This will help you brainstorm what needs to be addressed. She also recommends bringing everyone who parents your child on board, whether it be a nanny, babysitter or grandparents.
A good family tech contract should also go both ways. If there is a no screen-time rule while eating, kids should be able to call out parents who remain glued to their phones during dinnertime. Having all members of the family observe the contract will help solidify its effectiveness.
For each type of technology, whether it’s the iPad or phone, present guidelines by including time limits, etiquette, and other expectations. Formalizing your expectations for tech use can make tech work for your family and not be at its mercy. Moreover, keeping the tech communication open and regular is a great practice to set in place for when kids become older and begin exploring social media or for the day when they come into possession of their own phones.
Here is a sample tech contract I made for my 6 and 8-year-old.
Be open and honest. It’s not your fault if you find things on YouTube that’s violent, mean or scary. But if you do, don’t hide it. Tell mommy and daddy so they can help stop these shows from frightening or teaching bad things to other children. By not keeping secrets, you can be part of the solution.
Tuesdays are tech-free days. There is no watching on Tuesdays. Do not complain about being bored. Find something else to do.
No watching while eating. If you don’t pay attention to what you’re eating, you may end up eating more than you should and you won’t appreciate the taste.
No watching after 7pm. Screen time right before you go to bed will prevent you from getting restful sleep and you may wake up cranky the next morning.
No watching when mommy and daddy are still sleeping.
You have one hour of screen time on Mondays, Wednesday and Thursdays after you have finished your homework, and after you have spent 5 minutes cleaning your room. If you don’t do your homework or clean that day, you will lose your screen time for the following day.
You have two hours of screen time on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays. But only while you are at home. There is no watching at friends’ houses, in the car or at church. Please do not ask.
Remember tech manners. When someone comes over, pause what you’re watching and politely greet your guests, whether they are friends or relatives. When someone is speaking to you while you are watching, pause and give eye contact.
Do not take the iPad or a phone into the bathroom. Never leave drinks or other liquids next to any electronic device because this can cause permanent damage. Learn to take care of your things.
Encourage every member of the family (yes, even mommy and daddy) to follow these rules.