When Father’s Day rolls around each year, I’m all over it. I take my kids to the store to pick out something special for Daddy. I sit down with them to make handmade cards. Last year we painted Super Dad trophies. In other words, I make an effort to teach my children to show love and appreciation to their dad on this special day. When Mother’s Day rolls around, I don’t quite get the same effort. Last year it was the end of the day when I finally said, “You know, it might be nice to have a card or something!” and my youngest son promptly scrawled on a blank sheet of paper and handed it to me. It’s not really the same if I have to ask for it, is it? I went to bed in tears, feeling very under appreciated.
I have a great husband who is normally very thoughtful, so I don’t mean to complain. He will help me out around the house and occasionally bring me a for-no-reason gift, which I greatly appreciate! And on Mother’s Day, he usually gives me a card, which is nice. But what I want more than anything as a mother on Mother’s Day is to feel loved and appreciated by my kids, and I feel like he could be teaching them how to show me that love and appreciation.
Both of my kids are technically tweens now, and I can’t help but feel sadness that they are already pulling away just a little. I miss handfuls of yard weeds and co-sleeping snuggles. They’re into gaming, dabbing, bottle flipping, and creating YouTube videos and all sorts of things that don’t usually involve me. Most days, I feel unappreciated and even mostly unseen. I’m the backpack checker, the lunch packer, the cook, the maid, and the taxi driver. I used to be their whole world. This is a major step down. They’re growing. My brain gets it, but my heart is still holding on to the little chubby hands that used to hold mine. I’m proud of who they’ve grown into, yet desperately miss the little babies they were.
So, on this one day, Dads can you please just make sure your children’s moms feel loved, valued, and appreciated? Can you teach your children to be thoughtful, doting, and kind to this woman who has given them her whole heart? Can you teach your sons and daughters to show appreciation to the mom who often feels so under appreciated? Here’s what you can do to make Mom feel loved.
1. Talk to your kids about the meaning of Mother’s Day. Explain to them that, while they should love and appreciate Mom every day, this is a special day to show her love and to make her a priority. Ask them for ideas on how they can best do that, then help them follow through with their plans.
2. Ask your child what gift they’d like to get for mom and take them out and let them get it. Have them wrap it and write a card, and make it a wonderful surprise!
3. Talk to your child about ways to show appreciation, like breakfast in bed, an encouraging note, a day off from chores, making her bed, or her favorite dinner. Ask them which one they would like to do to show their Mom appreciation.
4. Coach your children on verbally expressing love and tender emotions. Yes, this is something all parents should be doing, but it means a lot coming from you, Dad. Give your boys and girls the words to say that will fill Mom’s heart. “I love all that you do for me.” “I appreciate you, Mom.” “Thank you for all you do.” “I’m glad you’re my mom.”
Teaching your children these important skills will serve them in all of the relationships in their lifetime. Coaching them to show tender emotions, to put someone else first, and to truly appreciate their loved ones is as much a gift to them as it is to Mom. Plus, it means that Mom will go bed to feeling totally loved and appreciated, and that’s really all she ever wants.