And just like that, another Mother’s Day is upon us. Another day to feel the love, add a few more adorable handmade cards and gifts to the pile, and hopefully, enjoy a nice celebration or two.
This will only be my third Mother’s Day, so the thrill of waking up with a reminder that I created a living, breathing, teeny, tiny version of me excites me. Everything about the day does.
Only this year, mine will be a bit different.
Yet at the same time, it won’t feel unfamiliar.
Because in my 33rd year of life, the same age my mom was when she separated from my father, I am now on my own with my little girl. While this was certainly not how I expected life to pan out, it is what it is. I am making the best of this situation, because, well, that’s what I do.
For me as a child, it felt like Mother’s Day every day. I worshipped my mother. Celebrated her as much as I could. Lavished her with poems, gifts, and flowers from our backyard – I didn’t need a holiday to let her know how much I loved her. She was my superhero, and still is.
Speaking of superheroes, you haven’t really met one until you’ve met a single mama.
There’s a reason why they say motherhood is the hardest 'hood to ride through', and doing it on your own adds a whole other dimension to the game. It’s as if we carry a weight that no one else can understand unless they’re in the same exact situation - feels almost too great to bear on some days.
But that’s not about this. Not at all. It’s about Mother’s Day and how celebrating without a significant other to pat you on the back is going to be just fine.
I promise.
Here are a few ways to get your single mama celebration on this Mother’s Day:
1. Find your sisterhood.
You know what’s the most comforting about my new reality? The fact that about half the women I surround myself with are going through the exact same thing. Or are single by choice. Or just loved me so much that they’d drop everything for a girl’s day. Plan a time to celebrate each other, and the value you bring to each other’s lives with some girl time. You’ve more than earned it.
2. Alone time.
Whether you’re partnered up or not, the one commonality we all share is that we can certainly use some alone time, that involves more than just a hot shower after the little goes to bed. If you have a reliable and trusted source to watch your brood for a few hours, indulge in doing something alone – and make it special.
3.Remind yourself that you do not need anyone by your side to feel celebrated.
This is where self-love comes into play. If you have not learned to celebrate yourself, all the time, then this is the best time to do it. Just think of the example you’re setting for your children! Sure, it may sting to scroll the Facebook feed and see all of those “my hubby is the best” posts accompanied by photos of flowers and jewelry, but don’t be fooled by propaganda. Those happy couples have problems too, the kind you once had, and the kind that once made you sad. There is no rule that says you MUST have a partner to feel special on Mother’s Day.
You know what you need? Your child or children, yourself, and a heart full of love.
Happy Mother’s Day!