Before your child can talk about his problems and feelings, he needs an emotional vocabulary. Simply teaching your child how to label what he is feeling will empower him to talk about his feelings, which will lead to solutions. Here are 10 emotions your child can add to his emotional word bank.
1. Joy. Most kids know what it feels like to be happy, which comes from external circumstances like receiving a toys at a birthday party. But it’s important kids understand the difference between joy and happiness because it gives them something very distinctive to strive for. While happiness is influenced by external circumstances, joy comes when you have accepted who you are and are at peace with who you are. Therefore joy is therefore cultivated internally and while happiness is experienced externally.
2. Love. Love is something you feel when someone means very much to you and you like that person very much. Because love indicates a strong feeling of like, many people say they love objects as well, like a blanket or a lovey. It’s very possible, however, to love someone even when you don’t like them from time to time. You can often tell how much you love someone by what you’re willing to do for them and what you’re willing to share with them. That is why love is often more than a feeling. Love is an act.
3. Fear. There are many sources of fear. Sometimes we are afraid of the unknown, or sometimes we are afraid of something bad happening to us again. While fear doesn’t feel good, it’s an important response and moves us to action, often times to protect ourselves. Even the most strong and brave grownups feel afraid from time to time. Sometimes fear is a natural byproduct of love. If there is something you love in your life, you might be afraid of losing it, or something bad happening to it. There is no shame in being afraid.
5. Anger. You may feel angry when somebody treated you unfairly or hurt you - or when someone you love has been hurt. And since there are situations where you should feel angry, like when someone hits your sister, anger is not a bad emotion. In fact, anger can be the right emotion to have. But grownups have a hard time labeling this emotion because anger is not an accepted emotion in our culture. Anger is maybe the toughest emotion to handle. The best way to manage anger is to talk about what is bothering you. It’s okay to say you are angry. It’s even better to say you’re angry without yelling.
7. Lonely. Sometimes we may feel lonely when there is no one to play with. And while that can certainly be true, being lonely is not the same thing as being bored. Lonely is something we feel when we think there is no one to talk to, no one who understands us, or no one who cares about us.
9. Embarrassment. If your face is turning red and you want to hide, you’re likely feeling embarrassed. Maybe you’ve done something wrong, or you don’t want a bunch of people staring at you. Either way embarrassment is an uncomfortable feeling. The good news is that this feeling often does away with some time.
3. Fear. There are many sources of fear. Sometimes we are afraid of the unknown, or sometimes we are afraid of something bad happening to us again. While fear doesn’t feel good, it’s an important response and moves us to action, often times to protect ourselves. Even the most strong and brave grownups feel afraid from time to time. Sometimes fear is a natural byproduct of love. If there is something you love in your life, you might be afraid of losing it, or something bad happening to it. There is no shame in being afraid.
4. Jealousy. Sometimes we feel jealous when we want something someone else has. You can be jealous of your brother’s scooter or you can be jealous of the attention he’s getting because of it. Jealousy is also natural but not a feeling you want to hold on to. One way to overcome jealousy is to make a list of things you are thankful for.
5. Anger. You may feel angry when somebody treated you unfairly or hurt you - or when someone you love has been hurt. And since there are situations where you should feel angry, like when someone hits your sister, anger is not a bad emotion. In fact, anger can be the right emotion to have. But grownups have a hard time labeling this emotion because anger is not an accepted emotion in our culture. Anger is maybe the toughest emotion to handle. The best way to manage anger is to talk about what is bothering you. It’s okay to say you are angry. It’s even better to say you’re angry without yelling.
6. Sadness. There are many reasons why someone can be sad. Many times sadness is the feeling that’s left when all the energy out of anger has gone away. We feel sad when something doesn’t go our way, when we’ve lost or miss someone or when somebody has hurt us. It’s okay to be sad. But we need to know how to deal with it. An important question to ask when we feel sad is what happened to make us sad? It’s also important to tell a grownup you trust about how you feel so they can help you. Sadness is not something you should try to handle on your own.
7. Lonely. Sometimes we may feel lonely when there is no one to play with. And while that can certainly be true, being lonely is not the same thing as being bored. Lonely is something we feel when we think there is no one to talk to, no one who understands us, or no one who cares about us.
8. Frustrated. We often feel frustrated when things don’t happen according to plan or the way we expected it to. Learning to tie a shoe can be frustrating because it may take many tries. But one way to deal with frustration is to manage expectations. If you expect to learn to do something the first try, of course you will feel frustrated. But if you understand that learning to tie a shoe isn’t easy and takes practice, you will become less frustrated.
9. Embarrassment. If your face is turning red and you want to hide, you’re likely feeling embarrassed. Maybe you’ve done something wrong, or you don’t want a bunch of people staring at you. Either way embarrassment is an uncomfortable feeling. The good news is that this feeling often does away with some time.
10. Proud. Feeling proud is almost the exact opposite of feeling embarrassed. When you feel proud, you want to share your story with someone or a group of people. You may even want everyone to look at you. Whether you’ve done something kind for a friend, or just received a trophy from working really hard at something, feeling proud is a good feeling.