The enormous responsibility of parenting can make us too focused on reaching goals, which robs us off opportunities to enjoy the journey. We obviously want our kids to become responsible, law-abiding citizens with good jobs, a good family and a good home.
But when the destination becomes more important than enjoying the journey, our happiness becomes circumstantial. Pressure inadvertently trickles down to our kids. And instead of relishing the cherished moments with your child, and your child with you, it’s tempting to get caught up in the day-to-day grind. It’s important to address these concerns a child’s development as they arise, of course, but it’s also important to know how to live in the moment and appreciate the miracle that is life.
Being too focused on reaching goals can also translate to missed opportunities for growth, learning and cultivating positive habits and attitudes. It’s also hard to celebrate small milestones and successes when we as parents are so fixated on a goal. But there is another reason why tunnel vision can be costly: we don’t always know what’s best for our kids despite our best intentions.
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Enjoying the journey of parenting sometimes requires surrendering and letting life happen, but it’s anything but a passive endeavor. The strong current of life can easily overtake us and sweep our joy from under us if we are not careful to stem the tide. Living in the present moment requires a conscious effort. Here are some tips to help you enjoy the journey of parenting.
- Accept that some things are out of your control. Yes, parents are the most influential role models in our children’s lives. But all we can do is provide them with opportunities and try to be the best role models possible. After that, how our kids turn out is ultimately their choice. Accepting this reality will help bring an odd peace and loosen the tight grip we often hold as parents.
- Do something everyday to invest solely in the present. Whether it’s taking nature walks with your child or a juggling class, do something with your child that has nothing to do with the future.
- Go on trips. Without your laptop. The old adage that you can’t enjoy something unless you’ve paid a price for it, may ring true here. One of the best things about going on family vacations is that it’s the one time when my husband and I shut down our laptops because we are forced to. We’ve carefully carved out money and time out of our busy schedules to live in the present moment.
- Keep a gratitude journal. This is an activity you can do with your kids, even kids who don’t know how to write yet. They can draw something they are thankful for in lieu of writing about it. Keeping tabs on the blessings in our lives help us to stop, reflect and put our future strivings in perspective.
- Capture their stories. Unless we write them down, those funny and poignant may be forgotten or float in our memories underneath a hazy fog at best. Reflections are helpful in slowing us down and keeping life in perspective.