Last night as I finally crashed (quite literally) into my bed, I realized that I was so physically and mentally exhausted because I hadn’t been taking good care of myself. Again! One of my kids has had a stubborn illness, and I’d spent the last two days driving hours to doctor’s appointments. Prior to that I was caught up in caring for him and just getting through the work – homework – pack lunches – bath – read bustle of the ordinary day and I haven’t written in my journal or read a devotional for a couple of weeks. It happens, I know, but it does take its toll and reminds me to calm down, slow down, and take the time I need to recharge. However, my husband came and crashed into bed shortly after I did, and the thought struck me – I never hear about self-care for dads. Surely men need to nourish their bodies, minds, and souls as well.
Self-care and self-respect go hand-in-hand. It’s not about putting yourself above all others, but rather it’s simply not neglecting yourself and your needs. In other words, you matter too! We always say you can’t pour from an empty cup, and the same is true for dads. All of the duties and responsibilities involved in being a husband and father leave little time for hard-working men to take time to properly care for themselves, and dads, like moms, often sacrifice sleep, exercise, nutrition, and hobbies for their families. Here are some easy ways for dads to recharge.
- Visit a barber shop and get pampered a little. The few months ago, I visited a salon/barber shop for a cut and color. A man came in and sat in the barber’s chair next to me. He received a haircut and a shave, and then he laid back with a warm towel on his face and I thought how nice that must feel. He was dressed in business attire, and it was probably his lunch break. I bet he went back to the office feeling refreshed. Yes, men deserve to be pampered! Schedule an appointment to get spruced up a bit and see how much better you feel afterward.
- Get your heart really pumping! I realize finding time to exercise is no easy task, but get creative. Take the family to the local park and jog with your wife while your kids swing and ride their bikes. Sometimes my husband and I do a kickboxing DVD together in our living room while the kids do homework. Play tag with the kids for a little while! That’ll work up a sweat!
- Don’t neglect your hobbies. What did you love to do before you became crushed under the weight of a million responsibilities? What feeds your soul? All work and no play makes Jack a sad dad! That’s not the actual proverb, but it’s still true. Remember the man you are underneath the responsibilities and nurture him!
- Manage your time well. There are only so many hours in the day, and they are often stuffed full. Clear your schedule a bit and leave room for some play time. Are you over-committed? Are you taking on too much at work, doing more than your fair share? Are you staying up too late and not getting the rest your body needs? Look at your schedule and trim it to the bare minimum so that you have time for the things that truly matter to you.
- Quiet your mind. Meditation is like a mini vacation from the constant ramblings of your brain. If meditation isn’t for you, try prayer, Tai Chi, or Yoga. Check out The Thinking Man’s Guide to Meditation to learn more. Mind training has many benefits, including lowering stress levels and helping anxiety or depression, another topic we don’t talk enough about regarding fathers!
It’s so easy to let ourselves go when there is so many other things pulling at our time and attention, but self-care is essential for being the best husband and father you can be. Take the time to be awesome to yourself so you can be awesome for them.