4 Things Every Father Should Be Doing for His Daughter

I will preface this post with, these are not things I learned from my own childhood.

I was not blessed with the typical father/daughter relationship. The kind that could have spared me from years of self-hatred, doubt, and way too many toxic relationships. No “Daddy’s Girl” paraphernalia, no daddy-daughter dance, no positive male feedback at all, at any point in my childhood.

Somehow, though, through a ton of self-reflection and a whole lot more ‘learning from experience’, I beat the odds.

Having fixated on every statistic that tried to prove that all girls who grew up without a strong father figure were destined for a life of failed relationships and misery – I strived to fall out of that sad life-sentence. I found my prince charming.

He gave me a beautiful daughter – and through careful observation of their relationship, which blossoms and grows stronger with each passing day, I have learned the four most important things that every girl should be receiving from her father. The things that certainly could have helped me through my childhood.

Here they are, not in any particular order, as they are all equally important:

4. Compliment her.

All girls need to hear it. The more they hear it from you, the less they’ll seek validation elsewhere. A simple, “you look beautiful,” will not turn her into a vain, self-absorbed, teenager. A “you’re so smart and capable,” in moments of frustration will not turn her into a boastful know-it-all.

It will only help reinforce the fact that the most important man in the world finds her absolutely wonderful in so many ways. And there is nothing more important for a young girls’ confidence than that.

3. Support her endeavors – be there.

Dance recital? She’ll be looking for you in the crowd. Soccer game? She’ll play better with Daddy rooting her on. Taking up a hobby/job/relationship you don’t agree with? Hear her out, support her efforts, give her advice should she need it.

Never tear her down. Never respond to her failures with an, “I told you so.”

That’s not your job. Your job is to remind your daughter, every step of the way and through every phase of her life, that you support her, you’ll be there, and it won’t ever be a question.

2. Let her cry.

Women are emotional beings. Young girls are especially emotional and men often have a hard time with tears. Please, if there is nothing else you can do for your daughter – let her express her feelings. Let her own her emotions. Hear her out, talk her through it, and make sure your shoulder is always ready for her tears.

Don’t ever tell her to “stop crying and get over it.” You cannot understand the emotional toll this can take on someone – it leaves a girl feeling misunderstood and irrational.

1. Love her mother.

Regardless of your situation – love her mother to the point of your daughter saying, “Ew, Dad, you’re gross.” Respect her mother’s opinions, respect the fact that this woman gave you your daughter. Your daughter will learn from your relationship with her mother EXACTLY what she’ll tolerate in relationships of her own.

Don’t provide her with a model for disrespect and heartbreak – you’ll end up hurting along with her. Love her mother, and love her hard.

And remember… “Behind every great daughter is a truly amazing dad.”