Originally published September 1, 2013. Updated September 3, 2026.
When we think about how to help children through school, the first things that come to mind are: checking their homework, having pencils, pens, and paper, and getting them to school. With No Child Left Behind (NCLB), test scores are important and everyone isconcerned how well their child will do. However, the reality of it all is, we are here to prepare our children to grow up and become productive responsible adults. Enabling our children will only teach them to become dependent on adults.
1. Encourage independence
It can be tempting to do everything for your child, especially when mornings are rushed or homework is taking longer than expected. But children need opportunities to practice doing things for themselves. Let them pack their backpack, keep track of assignments, choose their clothes, and handle age-appropriate responsibilities at home. You may need to guide them at first, but try not to take over. Each small responsibility helps build confidence and teaches them that they are capable of managing their own school life.
2. Create a homework routine
Children do better when they know what is expected of them. Set aside a regular time and a quiet place for homework each school day. Make sure the area has the basic supplies they need, such as pencils, paper, crayons, scissors, a ruler, or a calculator if appropriate. Turn off distractions whenever possible, including television and unnecessary phone use. Be available to answer questions, but encourage your child to try the work before stepping in. The goal is to support learning—not to complete the assignment for them.
3. Talk about school every day
Ask questions that go beyond, “How was school?” Children often answer that question with “fine” and move on. Instead, ask what made them laugh, what they learned, who they sat with at lunch, what was difficult, or what they are looking forward to tomorrow. These everyday conversations can help you notice problems early, whether your child is struggling academically, having trouble with classmates, or feeling worried about a teacher or assignment. More importantly, they show your child that what happens at school matters to you.
4. Teach organization
A messy backpack, missing permission slip, or forgotten assignment can create unnecessary stress for both children and parents. Help your child develop a simple system for keeping school papers, homework, lunch money, library books, and supplies organized. Younger children may need a folder for papers that need to come home and another for papers that need to go back to school. Older children may benefit from a planner, calendar, or assignment checklist. Take a few minutes once or twice a week to clean out the backpack and look ahead at upcoming projects, tests, and school events.
5. Praise effort, not just grades
Of course parents want their children to earn good grades, but grades are only one part of learning. Notice when your child studies hard, asks for help, finishes a difficult assignment, improves in a subject, or keeps trying after making a mistake. Let your child know that effort, responsibility, and persistence are valuable. A child who believes success only means getting the right answer may become afraid to try challenging things. A child who learns that mistakes are part of learning is more likely to keep working and grow in confidence.
6. Problem Solving
Teach your child strategies by role playing various scenarios. Ask him/her, what they would do if someone told them to steal money from the teacher's desk. And if their proposed solution did not work, what else could they do. The idea is to think through various solutions so they have options and are prepared. While times have changed, peer pressure has remained constant. If your child makes a bad choice, you do not want them to say they did not know what to do.
7. Attend all school programs
I have run into more people who can tell me every event their parent did not attend. You do not have to give your opinion of the event, just attend. The major events are Back to School Night, Open House and that ever important Winter Program. Check with your child's teacher at the beginning of the year to find out what events will be taking place. This is probably the one that will affect the relationship you have with your child the most. They will perceive they are not important and you do not care if you do not attend.
8. Support the teacher
Assume good will on the part of the teacher. They want the best for your child and they want the best for their class. With cell phones and email, there is no excuse to not have contact with the teacher, even if you never have a face to face meeting. Let the teacher know you not only want to know the "bad" things your child does, but when your child does something outstanding. Ask the teacher what their expectations are and how you can support them to help your child meet the teacher's goals for the year.
9. Put them to bed early
How did you function at work the last time you could not sleep peacefully at night? Were you grumpy and unfocused? Imagine your child having to go to school and take a test or present an oral report. Everyone works better when they stick to a schedule and a routine. Have a time when lights need to be turned off, and be consistent.
10. Get them to school on time
Finally, get your child to school on time. How many times does an employer allow someone to be late before losing their job or having their pay docked? I can guarantee a student who gets to school on time now will be one who gets to work on time as an adult. Think back to the last time you were late on the job. Did it seem like you spent the rest of the day trying to catch up? You usually end up anxious the remainder of the day and can never quite relax.
What are some other tips that have helped you help your child with school?
Rekated Article: Help Your Kids Get Better Sleep